Confidence

Do not, therefore, abandon that confidence . . . 

 - From Hebrews 10

Confidence is, apparently, something we choose to express, and feel, rather than something we just feel, involuntarily. It's like Real Love; the kind based on a choice; the kind that puts others first and thinks nothing of oneself. 

I need a touch of that today. 

It's like the song Whistle While You Work - the idea that, when your feelings, and especially your negative feelings have put up a wall that halts your forward movement. You train yourself to delay, so that every word from trusted others, that is not 100% encouraging to you, becomes a snare. In the Whistle song . . . you think happy thoughts anyway. You choose happiness. You choose love. You choose confidence. 

You pretend to be confident, until it becomes a reality. 

I have a life problem. That is, a distinct problem that was small once, but has grown bigger over time. I am easily discouraged. I go one step forward, and two steps back. Maybe three. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You begin to send off signals to others, which activates their behaviors, resulting in words and deeds that make me even more discouraged. They do not know they are causing harm. And yet they are not at fault. They don't know what they're doing. In most contexts, their words are okay. 

But this is the very essence of evil. If I were Satan, my game-plan might be:

• Use words of advice, and "help," or even support, to get good people to hesitate.
• Make it a feedback loop, that prevents good people from correcting the root problem. Attack every attempt at change and improvement, with the "helpful" words from trusted others, mentioned above. 
• Hit the good person physically, so that the words and deeds that are so discouraging, create physical stressors - blood pressure, headaches, racing pulse, overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment and distress.
• Repeat

I'm dealing with rooting out the source of my life self-doubt and guilt. And every attempt, so far, is being met with instant counter-punches from well-meaning people that don't know what they're doing. 

I'm simply trying to tell my story. But my story illuminates the problem. It may empower others that are likewise hurting. Ironically . . . by sharing my own narrative, I'm doing the exact opposite of drawing attention to myself. And if I fail in clearly articulating the point, it is only because I'm human and can't do anything perfectly. And yet, failing in doing the RIGHT thing, is much to be preferred over attempting to do the right thing, but doing wrong because your motives and understanding is flawed.

Always assume the best in others. Always get out of their way when they're sharing a sensitive part of their story. 

And then be confident. Just do it. Choose confidence. You are on the right path. Well-meaning friends and family do not have your experience or perspective. They may try to help. They may be wise, usually. But do not let even them . . . prevent you from the attainment of your life's goal and mission.