Learning to Greet Those We Do Not Yet Know
And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others?
— Matthew 5
One of the simplest acts of kindness is also one of the easiest to overlook.
Simply acknowledging another person.
Jesus seems to suggest that greeting people is not just good manners. It is one of the first steps toward loving them. Anyone can warmly greet family members or close friends. The challenge is to extend that same warmth beyond the circle that comes naturally.
Ten years ago, when I was the Building Sub at Creekside Intermediate School in Dexter, I decided to learn the names of every fifth and sixth grader in the building—nearly three hundred students. As word spread, children would walk up to me with a grin and ask, “What's my name?”
When I remembered, they beamed.
When I forgot, they were disappointed—but they also knew I was trying. The effort itself communicated something important. It told them they mattered enough to be remembered.
That experience has stayed with me.
It also reminds me of the reactions people sometimes have when the subject of extended family comes up.
“Why would I care about people I don't even know?”
Or:
“That's just a bunch of dead people.”
Perhaps.
But Jesus says something remarkably similar about strangers.
“You already greet your brothers and sisters. Now go farther.”
Over the years I've come to believe that our extended families are one of God's quiet training grounds for learning that lesson. They introduce us to people with whom we may have little in common on the surface. We may not share hobbies, occupations, politics, or personalities. Friendship often grows out of shared interests. Family begins somewhere much deeper.
It begins with belonging.
The Scriptures devote an astonishing amount of attention to genealogies, generations, tribes, and households. I don't think that is accidental. God seems to care about the way families are woven together across time, and perhaps He hopes that we will care as well.
So when someone says, “I'd like you to meet your fourth cousin,” our first thought should not be, “What do we have in common?”
It should be, “Here's someone I already belong to in a small but meaningful way.”
That changes the introduction.
Instead of meeting a stranger, I'm greeting someone whose story has been quietly connected with mine all along.
Perhaps that's why I find genealogy so much more than an exercise in history. Every newly discovered cousin is another opportunity to practice hospitality, curiosity, and unconditional welcome. Whether that relationship grows into a close friendship is almost beside the point.
The first gift is simply to be genuinely glad that you've found one another.
Maybe that's what Jesus was getting at.
We already know how to greet the people we know.
The Kingdom begins to grow when we learn to greet the people we don't.
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