SHOW UP

Sharing More Than the Message

So deeply do we care for you that we are determined to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you have become very dear to us. 

— 1 Thessalonians 2:8

Paul had a mission. He was determined to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ, to teach, to encourage, and to establish communities of believers. But in writing to the Thessalonians, he makes clear that his relationship with them had become something more than the fulfillment of a mission. He didn't simply want to deliver a message and move on. He wanted to share himself with them. His time, his attention, his wisdom, his affection, and undoubtedly his willingness to listen. These people had become dear to him. His ministry wasn't merely something he did for them. It was something he shared with them.

As I read these words, I'm looking at Leo, an elderly dog I'm caring for while his owners are away. Leo is deaf and suffers from dementia. His needs don't always fit conveniently into a normal schedule, and a good night's sleep isn't necessarily guaranteed. If my only objective were to earn some money while enjoying a comfortable week, I might have thought twice about accepting this assignment. But I want Leo to be safe, comfortable, and cared for. I want his owners to enjoy their vacation knowing that someone is looking after him. And the more I think about what that requires, the simpler the answer becomes. I need to show up. When Leo needs me, I need to be there.

I've been discovering the same thing in my family research. For years, I've entertained the possibility of organizing a family reunion, an undertaking that could involve considerable planning, coordination, and preparation. But what is it that I really want? I want to meet my cousins! Among them is Mark, a second cousin I've met only casually, who has lived within an hour's drive of me for the past thirty years. We've talked about getting better acquainted, and he has invited me to visit. So why spend more time contemplating ways to bring relatives together when I can simply accept an invitation? Perhaps the best way to begin a family reunion is to go see a family member.

There is certainly a place for planning, preparation, methods, and best practices. Paul himself wrote letters, organized collections, taught extensively, and made arrangements for his travels. Caring for Leo requires understanding his particular needs and following his owners' instructions. Family relationships deserve thoughtfulness and consideration. But all these things are meant to help us care for one another. They can never replace the actual experience of being present. And sometimes, if we're not careful, the work of preparing to do something good can become a remarkably comfortable substitute for doing it.

I wonder how often I've mistaken the planning of a relationship for the relationship itself. How many conversations have I intended to have, visits have I considered making, or opportunities to serve have I postponed while trying to determine the best way to proceed? Paul reminds me that the greatest gift I have to offer another person may not be my knowledge, my abilities, or even my carefully chosen words. It may be myself. Not an impressive program, not a perfectly organized occasion, not a grand gesture. Just the willingness to be present, to pay attention, to listen, and to care. Sometimes we show up because someone has become dear to us. And sometimes someone becomes dear to us because we keep showing up.

Perhaps the next step in loving our neighbors is not to develop a better plan for loving them. Perhaps it's to knock on a door, accept an invitation, answer a call, or sit beside an old dog who needs a friend. We may discover that the opportunity we've been preparing for has been waiting for us all along.

SHOW UP.

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