Caring III (SA)

 . . . but to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her . . . 

 - From 1 Samuel 1

Is "care" the same as "love"? 

I think it is, if we give love the highest definition - that of godly love, or agapē love. 

When you care for someone else, you do so regardless of how you feel towards that person. A nurse provides care to a patient, but he or she is paid to provide care. Granted, the nursing profession may be motivated by sincere impulses. But the clock runs, and the time comes when one nurse goes home, and another comes in to take over. This is "care" yes . . . but not love in the fullest sense. 

A hospital, or nursing home volunteer is even more motivated by true love. They receive no pay. They provide care of various sorts, for people that require it. But they too go home at the end of the job. Their volunteerism is something they do with their discretionary time. This does not minimize the wonderful thing they do. Yet . . . it is not fully love.

We think of ways to care for others. But it is not really caring . . . not until you are at the point where you, personally, are seeing to the needs of another person. You care for the other, not thinking about what it costs you. The care may appear more sincere and true, the greater the imposition on the caregiver. If it takes spoon-feeding a senior suffering from dementia, then great care is required; much more so, if a bed pan needs cleaning, or an adult diaper changed. 

The care can come in the form of providing musical entertainment to shut-ins and the invalid. You are providing quality of life to those that are limited in providing it for themselves. 

But you really can't talk about the need to care for others, until you are actually doing it yourself, personally, sacrificially, joyfully. 

You can't just elect politicians that talk about caring for the needy. You need to provide care, yourself. 

In the reading , Elkanah's preferred wife was Hannah, the one he loved. This is not to say he did not love his other wife, equally. He just loved Hannah, perhaps, in the way we have described. He cared for her. He enjoyed her company. She made him laugh. She reciprocated his affection. She was not spiteful and bitter like his other wife. Perhaps she was not as attractive, and maybe she was not as intelligent, in some worldly, bookish way. But Elkanah loved her . . . and therefore he cared for her with tenderness and sincerity. He enjoyed taking care of her. She made him feel emotionally safe.

And he expressed his care for her by giving her double portions of everything. 

To care for someone else, you have to be personal with them. You have to show up, sacrifice, listen, and act. Show me your love by your acts. Or better yet: Show, don't tell. 

The political approach to caring is all talk and no action. 

But we must care, by doing. And we need society to begin understanding that, and valuing the personal, sacrificial, dutiful, cheerful, and loving care-giver.