Welcome. Don’t Quarrel.

I Couldn't Get Past the First Verse

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions.

— Romans 14

Sometimes I can't get past the first verse.

Romans 14 is packed with wisdom about disagreement, judgment, conscience and our relationships with people who see things differently. There is plenty here for several Reflectionaries.

But today Paul stopped me at the front door.

Welcome.

This morning I opened Facebook and felt an almost immediate little response from my nervous system:

Get ready for incoming.

I've seen enough online arguments that I can almost anticipate them now. Something mocking Christianity. A taunt. A meme. A laugh emoji. Lately the algorithm has been showing me a surprising amount of content from atheist pages and groups, some of it seemingly designed less to discuss belief than to provoke believers.

And before I've even encountered the day's first offense, I'm already formulating responses.

Paul says:

“Welcome.”

That's considerably different from reload.

In Romans 14, Paul is addressing disagreements among believers. Some Christians had conscientious restrictions concerning food and special days that others did not share. Paul describes some as weak in faith—but notice what he tells those who presumably consider themselves stronger.

Don't quarrel with them.

Don't welcome them merely to straighten them out.

Welcome them.

That word changes the entire posture.

We sometimes approach disagreement as though the purpose of listening is to locate the weakness in somebody else's argument. While the other person talks, we're assembling our response. If the exchange happens online, we may be searching for the perfect comeback before we've really considered what the person said.

We've been encountering a very different pattern in these recent Scriptures.

Listen. Seek. Practice patience. Let love be genuine. Make peace. Be gentle. Exercise self-control.

Eerily, those last qualities were among the Nine Ladies Dancing with us just a few days ago. The fruit of the Spirit is supposed to become visible somewhere.

Perhaps disagreement is one of the best places to look for it.

I do wonder sometimes about people who have encountered Christians as judgmental or unkind, and then respond by ridiculing Christians in return. If you believe you've discovered a better way, shouldn't encountering you look better too?

But Romans 14 won't allow me to leave that question pointed outward.

If I believe Christ offers a better way, shouldn't encountering me look better too?

That's the Reflectionary question.

When we were children, some of us discovered that one of the easiest ways to entertain ourselves was to aggravate a brother or sister until we finally got the desired explosion. Adults aren't necessarily immune from that impulse. Sometimes the reaction is the whole reward.

But someone else's provocation doesn't require my participation.

Paul gives me another option.

Welcome.

That doesn't mean agreeing with everybody. It doesn't mean abandoning convictions or pretending important differences don't matter. Paul certainly isn't afraid of conviction.

But conviction doesn't require quarreling over every opinion.

Tomorrow I may open Facebook again and encounter something that mocks what I believe. Somebody may practically beg for my devastating reply.

Before I type it, perhaps I should remember the first word that stopped me today.

Welcome.

Because if my faith really is strong, I shouldn't have to demonstrate its strength by winning every argument.

Perhaps I can demonstrate it by being strong enough not to quarrel.

Reflectionary is an ongoing conversation with Scripture. If these reflections are meaningful to you, please subscribe and come back often. And by all means, join the conversation—your questions, disagreements, insights and reflections are always welcome.