Open

We have renounced the shameful things that one hides; we refuse to practice cunning or to falsify God's word; but by the open statement of the truth . . . 

 - From 2 Corinthians 4

"Practice cunning."

I plead guilty, and I hope anyone else reading this, does the same.

Of course we practice cunning, all the time. Human societies encourage and celebrate the playing of games, manipulation of people and events, being good deal-makers and bluffers; we admire someone's poker face.

You have to practice cunning, if you want to climb the corporate ladder, beginning with your resume and job interview. People work with consultants to help them get a job, or even, to get a date!

There are uncountable best-sellers that teach us how to have our way in the world. And yes . . . in most cases it comes down to being nice to others - but even in this case, there are ulterior motives to your kindness.

Even the redoubtable Stephen Covey, master of sincerity and The Golden Rule, frames his approach with such a phrase as "win-win," or a calculation intended to read others with caution.

But as Jay Leno said during Hillary Clinton's Whitewater problem in the 1990s, when she had "no recollection" of the events: "If you just tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

Or as Jesus said, "Let you yea be yea, and your nay be nay." God's way is the simple way - just tell the truth. Don't hide things. Sincerely seek the best for others, not thinking about what you can get in return.

People need to be open. Open and Candid. Candid and vulnerable. We need to be honest. We need not to jump to conclusions about others. But we find it so hard to do these things. And I said at the start of this blog - as a society we do not encourage openness and honesty. We just don't. Too many of our heroes are known and admired for how they use others. To me, it's almost proverbial that the solution to bullying, for too many people, is to become a bully yourself, and to be an even bigger bully than the one that was a problem, in the first place.

Humans were made to thrive in openness, but in the present time we're faced with a crisis that has everyone scurrying off into their own corner - away from others. We are a social species with a built-in need to be around others like us. And yet, in a trial that has been defined as the worst in a century, our solution is to block ourselves off from others, and even, to cover our faces if we find ourselves around others.

That is not facing a problem head on. It most literally . . . isn't.

I met a person this week, that I can only characterize as a breath of fresh air; a wonderful and delightful person. Our first meeting was "blind." We took a social distancing walk together, on the B2B trail between Dexter and Hudson Mills Metropark. She expressed the most important thing she's looking for in new friends: "I just want to have honesty between us."

I think that's what we all want. We know we want it. We know we crave it. But it's so hard to do. We fear that the more honest we are, the more we are likely to push the other person away. And let's face it, there is an element of fun, in revealing yourself slowly, carefully, to others.

And yet, here we are. The solution to every problem, from interpersonal relations to how a society of 330 Million people deals with a problem labeled a "pandemic," is to be open and honest.

And to give others enough space, and respect, to do the same.