Called

. . . they called upon the Lord, and he answered them. 

 - From Psalm 99

It is a truism of my life. The closer I am to God, the less troubled I feel. Paradoxically, though, the closer I am to God, the more troubles come my way. But this too is a paradox.

You draw near to the Lord, and you feel more peace. But at the same time, you come under greater attack from the evil one and his minions in the world. 

When I draw away from the Lord, my own spirit troubles me. Over time, it affects me physically. The most common symptom of separation from the Lord, is a sense of deep anxiety. My heart races. I get troubled. I awake in the middle of the night, sometimes fearing a panic attack. I go from one thing to the next. I do busy work. I crank up the music. I jog. I watch TV. I sit and watch the computer screen, too much. I feel troubled and nervous. 

And then I'll realize that I had not been praying. I had not been reading His word. I have not done anything reflective for so long. 

I may go for long periods in doubt about the reality of God and of Christ. I may be questioning my faith. I may even be intellectually satisfying my human impulse to just believe it's all not true and that I may walk away. 

But eventually, the anxiety returns. And I am not well again, until I pray, study His word. 

And stop. Just stop. 

This is what it means to call upon the Lord. And when He answers (and he does), it restores your faith, and begins to fill you with peace and confidence.