Refresh. Please.

Refresh my heart in Christ. . . . 

 - From Philemon

Earlier today, it occurred to me, that I do not like the current fad of "boundaries."

I was first recommended a book called "Boundaries," by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, by a pastor. I noticed, during the next several years, that he would refer to this book frequently. 

The premise is this: We all have boundaries and have a right to expect others to observe them. We do this for our own wellness, and we do not need to feel guilty about it. It gives people permission to say "no" to others that ask them for help or other favors. And in saying "no," you can believe yourself to be a virtuous person that, by taking care of yourself first (like airplane passengers providing emergency air to people around them, after they have taken care of themselves) you're actually able to help more people in the long run. 

But I don't think the concept of boundaries is playing out that way, any more. People seem to be claiming boundaries all the time now, for any reason. More and more, it just seems like they're insisting on boundaries, mostly because they don't feel like being nice right now. 

I cannot square the boundaries concept with servant, or selfless love. With a couple of noteworthy exceptions (exceptions that prove the rule) Jesus didn't go around insisting people observe His boundaries. He was selfless, and had a servant's heart. 

In Paul's letter to Philemon, he comes out and asks Philemon to respond to the letter, to welcome Onesimus into his house, basically, to bless Paul, make good things happen, make Paul feel great about Philemon and his household. 

Do this for me. 

Because, if we want to grow in our strength and effectiveness, we are going to have to have people watching our back, even to a sacrificial level. Paul does this. Take care of me. 

And then later on today, a friend actually called on me to bless her when she was feeling down and needed encouragement. 

Boundaries are okay. They need to be respected. But not to the degree we've taken it, in 2022. We still need each other desperately.