Others (of)

Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. 

 - From Philippians 2

In 2020, there's a fine line that divides self-interest from the interests of others. How do we know whether or not a person is motivated by a true altruistic desire to help the needy, or a carnal, infantile plea: "Notice me!"

"Notice me."

I first started taking, well, "notice" of this concept after my own kids were born. Certain of their close relatives would do a thing, when they would try out something new, or demonstrate awareness of others. These relatives would feign the baby communicating: "Mama, notice me!" or "Daddy, notice me!"

It's a sense of empathy that a grandparent, or aunt might have - - - that a highly-dependent and rather helpless baby has one overriding need: to be noticed. We all want to be noticed. When we do something that expresses our talents, or interests, we want to be noticed. Even the shyest among us. We want to matter. 

A person holding up a sign that says "Black Lives Matter" wants to be noticed for it. Yes, this is my observation. They first want you to notice them, and then they want you to notice the theme of the movement. I doubt that we do much that isn't driven first by a fundamental need to be noticed. And, actually, that's a good thing. Whatever motivates us to do good, must be good. 

But let's not lose sight of this primal motivator: We want others to notice us. 

This is what the idea of "virtue signaling" is all about. 

Oh, you're only doing that because you want people to think you're good. 

It is a driving force in our lives. In time, it does decrease. Old people actually are more focused on others (which is why we should revere them, and follow their example). 

And young people are more focused on themselves. 

I have a friend on social media. I have known her since Middle School. We were very close friends in high school. Thanks to Facebook, we reconnected. Thanks to Facebook, a great wedge has come between us. 

One time, she posted, to one of my retorts: "Why do you always argue? Why can't you just acknowledge what I said?" 

This was cutting. It was true. I started trying to affirm my friends more, even if I disagreed with the point they made. Friends are more important than most ideas. 

Looking out for the interests of others isn't the same as agreeing with a sweeping concept "Wear a mask to protect others." There is a long list of exceptions to that rule, which are not addressed in the talking point. 

The interests of others is something to apply in the most awkward way - - - to the others around you, and close to you. Being kind to them. Not condemning them with some labeling of them as "The Other." That other person is not wearing a mask! So what? They are still human. They still are doing the best they can! 

What if it just isn't in their make-up to wear a mask? Keep your mask on. Keep your distance! But keep treating them as a human, with respect and dignity. 

Get to know them . . . . This always turns out better. 

Youth (Church)

Remember not the sins of my youth and my transgressions . . . 

 - From Psalm 25

God understands youthful indiscretion. In Old Testament times, with a few exceptions, He seemed to wait until people were fairly old, before calling them to His service. Abraham was about a hundred. Noad was way up there. 

David was called at a young age, and still messed up, while yet an unseasoned king. 

Jesus waited until He was at least thirty-something to launch His formal ministry. His "silent years," between the ages of about twelve and thirty are perhaps a model to us. Those would be good years for any young person to remove him or herself from society, for learning, reflection, growing (this was probably the original intent of college).

God seems willing to overlook our dumb activities up until we're about thirty. 

Therefore, the responsibility for the well-being of young people, all the way up to twenty-five, at least, rests on our shoulders. Yours and mine. 

If young people (anybody up to twenty-five years of age) goes out and destroys property, or makes other reckless decisions that hurt themselves and others, it pretty much is because we have allowed it to happen, or have even enabled it to happen. When young people act out, it is probably because of a sense of frustration that nobody seems to care. Before hitting twenty, they are already wracked with crippling debt and fears for the future that become further debilitating. They may feel they have no where else to go, and just start swinging their arms about, literally, or figuratively on social media. 

It gets worse when older people look the other way, or even openly endorse the emotional and non-reflective reactions of the young. God will, and does, forgive them. But we are expected to establish an orderly community that is safe for our youth, and elders. 

All of them.

King David had a lot of regrets. So do we. Chalk it up to youth and foolishness. 

Parent (United)

 . . . the life of the parent as well as the life of the child is mine . . . 

 - From Ezekiel 18

The Gen Xers have eaten sour grapes, and Millennials' teeth are set on edge.

Actually, that's not the way it should read. Ezekiel 18 sets itself up this way:

"The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge." This was a Proverb used in the days of Ezekiel, used as an excuse for the wild and violent behavior of the young people. Apparently Israel had become a nation that had lost its way. It no longer stood for peace and safety, and freedom. It was no longer virtuous and prosperous. 

The young people took it upon themselves to visit retribution against the sins of the forefathers. They took to the streets. They valued nobody, and they valued nothing. In the end, everybody, young and old, got swept under a tide of violent and brutal occupation by Assyrians, Babylonians, Persians, Greeks, and then Romans. 

God rejected the Proverb making the rounds, like He rejects excuses we make today, for the violence in the streets, and untethered hate we express to each other. 

Here's a good reason to practice unconditional and sacrificial love to each other: 

Because we love our elders, and we love our children. 

When you start tearing things down, from reputations to brick-and-mortar, you invite invasion from people that hate your freedoms, individuality, and prosperity. Our divisions become targets for the machinations of outside interests . . . which are constantly seeking ways to expand their global footprint. 

Before he died, my Dad said "I will be okay. I'm just worried about your mother."

We promised him she would be okay.

And then the world started making itself unsafe to our most vulnerable. 

Stop blaming other generations. Stop finding excuses for your violence. We are still, and always, responsible to treat all others with kindness and love. This is the path to the justice and peace that you seek.

If there is no other reason for our kind behavior, do it for this reason:

You want peace and safety for your kids . . . and your parents. 

Hide (Andrews)

That which we have heard and known, and what our forefathers have told us, we will not hide from their children. 

 - From Psalm 78

Yesterday, my oldest daughter turned 25. During the past year, she has begun to comment on things happening to her, that I can only respond with "That's aging."

Aches and pains that have no explanation. 

A sense that there is not enough time to achieve her life goals. 

The sudden desire to take a nap at odd times. 

A gray hair. 

In my own twenties, I began to notice the onward march of the aging process, and how certain things can be organized into the decades of life. 

In your first decade, it's all about play.

In your teens, you seem to be able to make great strides physically, if you work on it. 

In my twenties, I could come home from work, in my suit and wingtip shoes, recline back in my Laz-Z-Boy, and fall deeply asleep.

In my thirties, I had my first high cholesterol reading and began to experience certain digestive . . . irregularities. 

In the forties, I had to really start watching what I ate, because of problematic results in blood sugar and blood pressure. 

In the fifties, my vision became more of a problem, and I lost the ability to stay up long hours into the night, when I used to be very productive. And I experienced the first medical procedure that an older friend had told me once "Wait til you see what they do to you when you turn 50!"

I just turned 60. I may circle around to some of my high school friends later, and ask them for advice. 

But 25, for my daughter, is a big deal. Sure, we say you can drive when you're 16, vote when you're 18, smoke and drink when you're 21, and rent a car when you're 25. But in an age that reverences "Science" so much, we do not reflect much, on the fact that your frontal cortex, the part of the brain that governs moral decision-making, is not fully developed until you're 25. Physiologically and biologically, a person should be fully and completely formed, for adulthood, when they hit 25. 

That's my daughter now. She is a Millennial. 

How have we spent the first twenty-five years of our kids' lives, in preparing them for adulthood?

Throughout Scripture, this point is hammered down, constantly - - - you have to proactively, and aggressively, teach your kids. But it isn't even just teaching them . . . it's reminding them. Share with them your own stories of faith, and of God's working in your life. Tell them honestly, about your own experience. They may have doubts about miracles from thousands of years ago. But you can openly discuss God's working in your life . . . just tell them. They'll figure out for themselves that it was all a bunch of miracles. In teaching, that's called Show, don't tell. 

We hide God from our kids. I hid God from my kids. I did not make God an intimate part of our lives. It is awkward to talk about God to them. That is my fault. 

But at the same time . . . this means ensuring that they hear about God and His workings on earth, and in our lives, everywhere. We do support the separation of church and state, and we do not force our beliefs on others . . . but there are creative ways to teach kids about the Lord . . . even while they are away from us, in school and college.

The world understands this about our development. By the time they are twenty-five years old, they have been influences by people that do not believe in God, or even hate Him, more than we have influenced them. They have spent more time around these people, in their classrooms and dorm rooms, watching their television and films, listening to their music. 

Even in Old Testament times, without all these distractions, we were admonished to talk about the Lord . . . constantly. 

The Psalmist frames the point as something we owe to our own forbears. Don't do it for our own peace of mind, or for accolades to ourselves. Don't even do it for the good of our kids. But share the love and plan of God to our kids . . . because we owe it to our own ancestors. We do not want the sacrifices that they made, to be in vain. 

So this is the challenge . . . let's take that magic number of "25". The implication is that there's still time, for a person that has not yet reached that age. They may be drawn to professors, celebrities, and friends during the formative first twenty-five years of life, because they perceive that these other influences, simply care more. 

Quarreled (Saint)

 . . . the Israelites quarreled and tested the Lord . . . . 

 - From Exodus 17

There's a big controversy in Exodus 17, which started when the Israelites had to go some time without water. At every step, so far, God had directed them. He got them out of every bind. He performed miracles, when necessary, to keep them safe and out from under the iron hand of Pharaoh.

But the water got scarce, and soon the grumbling began. The grumbling turned into full out quarreling. They were arguing with each other, they ganged up on Moses. They began to threaten violence. 

Scarcity is a fact of life in human society. Even the wealthy have some level of concern about losing it all, and ending up in squalor. We get so concerned about having enough stuff, that it effects our treatment of others. The anger we feel for each other becomes a challenge to our very faith. It's hard to lean on God, with a chip on our shoulder. 

When God is being tested; when faith is weak; when people get angry . . . we find people quarreling. 

Is there strife? Is there anger? Is there violence? Do not expect God in those scenarios. 

Oh, but someone protests: "What about Jesus in the Temple? What about His anger at the Scribes and Pharisees?"

Moses had anger, too, against Pharaoh. But his anger was measured. Our view of Christ in the Temple moment, is of Him in a manic rage, pretty much out of control. But we're projecting too much of ourselves onto Him when we think that. His response was more like the controlled play-acting of a teacher, feigning anger to a classroom, in order to get a certain result, or to get their attention. You can appear angry, while being in full control of your faculties. Jesus was not triggered, much as we would like to think of it as such. 

The scenes being played out in the streets of America right now, are too angry and out of control, to be confused for acts of God. 

Yes, justice is needed. It has always been needed, and always will be. And until Christ returns we will continue making progress on it, in His name. But our factions and divisions bespeak a separation from God, as much as from each other. 

We quarrel among ourselves, because we are testing God. Be still, be silent, be a servant . . . and draw near to Him. 

Not For the Purpose

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. 

 - From Romans 14

The Apostle Paul makes a compelling case against denominationalism here. He has declared partisanship to be a "heresy" in other places. And, at our Lord's most desperate and helpless moment, at Gethsemane, His most ardent prayer was that His Father make His Church "one," as He and the Father are one. 

I could make a case, that Christian unity is the single most important and urgent priority for all believers, especially today.

The very topic, once broached, turns the countenances of people present into blank stares. It's almost like a toggle switch, that shuts them down. Their thinking stops. Their listening, their understanding, pauses. You wonder if, when it comes to God's priority, we have been hard-wired, by sin, to just shut it down and not even acknowledge that there is such a thing as Christian unity. 

I will get push-back on everything I have said so far. We also are hardwired to believe we are right, in all things. We simply cannot handle being wrong, especially when someone we deem as of lesser value, is the one correcting us. We recoil to other virtues where we excel: 

We're successful in business, profession, and life. 

We have advanced college degrees.

We are respected in the community.

We are a scholar in Greek or Hebrew. 

We belong to the right party. 

We're not a racist. 

But this idea of the Church being unified . . . the very thing Christ pleaded that we would be . . . the very thing that could turn the world around into a positive direction, today . . . is the one we resist. 

I take it as proof that this is indeed, the main thing. 

Adam got defensive, he lied, he blamed his wife, when caught committing a fundamental sin. 

We get defensive, we lie, we blame someone else, when we are caught in defiance of Christ's elemental plea for unity. 

Paul knew that we argue too much. The first-generation Church, comprised of people that had seen the risen Christ personally, argued among themselves. There is so little time. And strife is such a waste of it. 

Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister?

Your brother or sister! 

God help us.

Oh sure . . . you don't "hate" Trump. You just realize that he is "unfit" for office. And you don't "hate" Biden. You just don't want him leading the country into Communism. Oh, and that person not wearing a mask? Don't get me started . . . 

The Romans to whom Paul addressed his letter certainly did not believe they "hated" their own brethren. But Paul knew better, and we need to know better.

Love is the answer. Still, and always. 

Watching

Turn my eyes from watching what is worthless . . . 

 - From Psalm 119

In my last blog, I stated that I would watch social media in the next twenty-four hours, for posts that are worthless, as well as those that are precious. I would carefully track this and then report on the next day, and apply to the daily reading and writing.

But I didn't follow through on it. I got busy. Our business is entering it's busiest two weeks of the year. But no excuses.

My hesitation actually worked out for the best, for here, in today's reading, is another use of the word "worthless." In my prior post, Jeremiah was told not to say things that are worthless. And then today, the Psalmist asks God to keep us from watching what's worthless.

I'm sure it does not take much imagination, to list out things in the modern world, that are worthless for us to look at. Most cable TV, social media, the habits and attire of people in public. In an unfortunate juxtaposition of nature, the more you draw attention to yourself, the more you're probably doing what's worthless, in the eternal scheme of things. We're not supposed to dwell on externalities, but that's everything today. And with this focus on self, is it any wonder crowds of angry and bitter people, easily form?

The best way to stay happy and centered is to focus on serving others.

A friend of mine just told me that she has permanently turned off Facebook, and she is much happier.

Another friend eschews social media and apps, altogether. She emphasizes her daily walks and bike rides. Her life is simple, orderly, neat, and happy.

The 80-20 rule is in play. The happiest 20% of people probably spend 80% of their time away from worthless pursuits. You will find them outside, or in creative hobbies. They attend to their physical health. They read. They write. They engage in fellowship with others. They push away from the worthless prattle of TV talking heads and click-bait.

We should strive to be a happiness 1%er.

Meanwhile, I will try to follow through on my Social Media monitoring, this time.